Sunday, January 8, 2012

Triggers, Meanings and Ruts - Part 3

Ruts, well ruts are simple……especially if you ever been in one on some country back road. Lol Simply put a rut is any combination of Triggers, Meanings or just any "baggage" that we pack around unknowingly, that we continue to let control us and the decisions we make. The things that make us not only find but seek out the same types of relationships with other people, romantic, friendship, etc. We seek them out even when we know they are unpleasant. Mostly because they are familiar to us. Even when negative, familiarity makes us feel safe because it's known. The unknown continues to make most of us uncomfortable just breathing.
The thing to do is to find new things to do, new people to associate with, new people to date even. Just to broaden your horizons and get comfortable in all kinds of physical and emotional positions. Then you can pick and choose where and who you want to spend your time. It will bring about another level of peace and confidence within yourself . And yes you can keep the good things and people that you already have…….lol

So having said all of this, I wish everyone luck in pursuing their own happiness to no end. To find that place where you are in control of you, comfortable with it, giving your successes to others in testimony so they can make the same strides in their happiness as you are doing. Remember, we learn life's lessons by living it here and now. Not dwelling on the negative from our past or worrying about the "what if's" of tomorrow. All we have for sure is right now. Live it with passion, happiness, thoughtfulness, love and awareness of who you are and whom you are becoming......

Sent from my iPhone

Triggers, Meanings and Ruts -Part 2

Meanings, we all apply meanings to everything that happens. The real problem begins when we apply meanings to similar looking or similar feeling happenings. While incorrect meanings are different that triggers, they are just as detrimental as triggers.

Example: Something happens when you are 3. You make it mean something as that 3 year old child. Will that meaning be accurate, even semi-accurate? Probably not. The meaning that you have applied to it will seem very accurate to you and you won’t have the education or mature thought process to look at all of the facts and learn what it really meant.O Unfortunately, that is the most processing you will do with it until at some point in your future you decide to look deep inside yourself to find out why you think certain things happen with the same meaning over and over. We take it one step further most of the time too. What that means is that we watch something happen. Then we say it means something. Then as we look at it, we gather only the evidence present that supports our meaning. Thus shortcutting the evaluation process…..

Anyone ever watch CSI? That is really the best way to do it. Gather all the evidence you can when something happens and then evaluate it all to find out what the true meaning is. That is the healthy, comprehensive way to do it. How do you know when you’re doing it? This is simple. After something happens look at what you first do……Are you making a statement about it, being judgmental about it or just offering some immediate explanation about it? Then you’re not looking to find out what happened, you are looking to pass judgment and apply some predetermined meaning. If you finding yourself asking a lot of questions, of yourself, the other parties involved and even some third party influences for more input into the possibilities then you are approaching it in the best possible way to find the true meaning of the happening.

Will you be able to catch everything you apply meanings to right away. Probably not. That’s why I like the term “Work In Progress” . Each of us is just that. I know as I find out and fix more stuff within myself, I see how much more work I have to do…..Somedays, it’s exhausting to work on yourself and never pleasant at the time, but the rewards after are so worth it. You can be truly happy with yourself and truly confident in knowing you have the tools to go through life making decisions every day.