Women have the love life they choose….."The Guilty One"

Now when I say this I don’t mean to imply that what they choose is what they want.  Whether she is career oriented or family oriented, or somewhere in between she is choosing to be there.  Sometimes, what she chooses is exactly what she wants.  Sometimes, she even knows it. The problem seems to be when she doesn’t realize how her choices are either not getting her what she wants or even worse keeping her in a bad situation for all the wrong reasons.
Sure, sometimes the perfect love smacks you in the face and it’s undeniable.  More often when you find couples that have been together for years, they will tell you a story about their life together that hasn’t always been rose petals.  More often it is a story that has lead one or both of them to the edge of quitting.  Through good communication, realistic expectations, understanding, compassion and the love and passion that brought them together with a splash of tenacity they have held it not only together but have grown together and increased that love for one another that is unbreakable.  It’s like they have more love for each other out of the appreciation that he or she stayed to work together to become one.  Hopefully without losing either individual, but most definitely operating together as one unit.
“The Guilty One”-  This young lady has impacted her present and future with guilt from her past.  While sounding very simple to understand, it’s not.  Most commonly, something has happened that she has blamed herself for or has been wrongfully blamed for and she accepted that blame.  Then feeling guilt for it subconsciously and packing it around until she realizes it.  While men aren’t immune to this very problem, we are discussing women.  I find that women that have had a poor relationship with a male role model as a child may have problems with trying too hard to make a bad relationship work with what they see (subconsciously) as a similar personality to that childhood role model.  Typically, because they think they are responsible for the shortcomings of the earlier relationship, so they stay. Thinking that she deserves the abuse that can go on during a bad relationship.  All the while, she is trying harder to make things work and dismissing the partner’s abuse(exhausting).  Abuse can be in many forms from verbal to very physical. It usually escalates.   
Realizing the guilt that they have put on themselves or allowed to be put on them is the first step in healing themselves.  This healing is a wonderful thing.  Usually it’s the first step in learning more things about yourself that are overshadowing your choices.