Nice Guy Quest part 4

I feel like the most unheard person in the world on this subject. I just keep getting hit in the face with friends and acquaintances that have gone for the "oh so perfect guy" that turns out to be an asshole. That's right I said asshole. We could call him a jerk or say he's just misunderstood but when the rubber meets the road he's just an asshole. Now if that's not bad enough by itself, she will usually continue to paint all those red flags green while she is defending him to her friends and convincing everyone about how great he is.

Then, there is always that deeper problem of bringing a child into the mix. So then she stays thinking that adding more stress of responsibilty and financial burden will make him see the light! Doesn't happen. The asshole, appropriately named, just gets bigger when you add more shit for it to deal with. Further complicating the situation. which is now going to last several years.

Then let's not forget the damage she receives thinking she's not good enough or important enough that when she finally stands up for herself and leaves the asshole , she has all this baggage that she takes to the next asshole. Some of which she doesn't even realize. So how can she fix it? I have a few suggestions but one has to be ready to listen. And I already covered how I feel unheard so we are going to leave that for the future. Lol.

So while she's with the next asshole compounding her problem she starts thinking "I just need a nice guy or good hearted man". Professing this to the world while she's leaving that asshole. Then she passes several more nice guys up looking for the next asshole. Now while this whole process could be explained several ways from daddy issues to simple guilt she's packing around, it's not my intention to diagnose but to point out that it exists and each woman needs to take drastic steps to get it worked out so she can start enjoying life.
If she finds a nice guy in her 40's or 50's, is she going to turn him into an asshole because that's what she knows or will she just enjoy him and nurture a relationship worthy of the shared time they both deserve? Unknown at this time. I've seen all outcomes in my life so far.
The real question still exists "why choose the asshole in the first place?".

Alone and healthy is a much better place to be than in a bad relationship getting worse. We all do things that cause us heartache at some point. The responsibilty we have to ourselves is to figure out who we are and why we did something so that we can either add it to or take it out of our life in the future. Then we can say we've had some growth. Good luck!


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