Dating-What is it?

You can ask 25 people to define dating and you will get 25 different answers like I did. I have my own very specific definitions that I'll discuss in a bit. So that begs the obvious question why so many definitions? I think that dating is a very general term. People use it loosely for a lot of reasons. Some don't really want to admit that they had feelings for someone (that "hindsight is 20/20" thing) because they are worried about their own "look good". Some use it because it was a casual thing a few dates. Some people think it means that you had sex with that person you dated. Sex is not necessarily part of dating. Just like a one night stand for sex is not necessarily dating. Lol.

My thoughts are that dating is a generalization about activities you do with a person that you have some interest in spending time with for a romantic purpose. A date can be simple to the complex right up to a serious relationship. A date most certainly needs to have mutual thoughts of romance, not just one party interested. It would exclude doing things as friends.

Examples of a date would be:

• movies
• Dinner or lunch
• A day at the lake or river
• A motorcycle ride
• A spa day
• and so on.

So since dating is a general term then we would need sublevels of dating to help define it for everyone. In each level it is up to the "daters" to define it further.

Casual Dating-the very basic level of dating. This can be simple like "you want to go to a movie?". It is also the level of dating that leaves it open to date other people. Not that you would have to but you can. While casually dating you can find out about likes and dislikes for both parties. If there is mutual interest in making things more serious, you can move to the next level of dating.

Exclusive Dating- which simply stated means you only "date" each other. You still go out with friends to do things, as you should in any scenario of dating no matter how casual or serious it may be. You don't have to be girlfriend and boyfriend, or any other label at this level but you most ceratainly can be. You can also be very relaxed depending on the parameters that each of you set "together". (Parameters should always be realistic and definitely communicated, in any relationship whether romantic or not.) "Relaxed" meaning that while you talk on the phone during the week you may only see each other on the weekends. You still only "date" just each other. So you can see there are a lot of different sublevels contained in this level.

Significant Other- at this level you are in a relationship and can use the labels girlfriend and boyfriend, finally. You don't necessarily live together but you do a lot together. You make joint plans for events and time together. You travel together and just have fun. You discuss those issues that can impact you both. You consider each other when making decisions separately. Some couples don't progress beyond this level for lack of desire or need. If they did it would become marriage and no longer officially dating. Although, married couples that continue to date each other usually stay married. Lol

So once again what is dating? What does it look like? What level are you on? Or not? It's okay not to date. It's okay to do what adds to your own happiness as long as you don't do anything to intentionally hurt anyone else.

I hope this helps some of you that read it, none of you that don't and all of you just be happy!

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