Nudity?

Why is nudity so overrated? Ideas? What I mean is, some people like being nude.  Not exhibitionists just people that like to have the freedom to move about sans clothing. Let's face it, we only started wearing clothing as a means to protect ourselves from the elements. Our bodies regulate their temperature much better when nude. Less health issues on the skin from letting things air out so to speak. There are lots of benefits of a nude or mostly nude lifestyle.

As a society in America, we seem to be freaked out by nudity or even scantily clad individuals. Why I ask. Each one of us is either a male or a female at birth. So we are completely aware of what we look like. Once we have seen just one of the opposite sex, we've seen everything that "we" are naturally or can be augmented into. So what's the big deal?

I have personally been a member of a clothing optional resort. It was a wonderful experience. If I still lived in that locale I would still be a member. The resort had lots of activities, restaurant, night club, lagoon, pools and jacuzzis. As well as several holiday and weekend events throughout the year. It exists just like any other community only without issues of nudity.

Social life at the resort was quite enjoyable. No not like that, conversations were very real and enjoyable with all visitors and residents. I always attributed the great conversations to the fact that these are all people that are comfortable in their own skin. No clothing to impress others, generally no makeup either, just "skin wins" mentality. Not here to be seen, but “don't care if I am” makes for a very relaxed atmosphere.

So what is it that drives our society to hide their skin. It started as protection from the elements, however there are several times and places where the environment is temperate.
People should be allowed to free their skin.  I'm not talking about at school, church, or any place that would shove nudity in the faces of those that will be truly offended.  Places like home yard, at the beach or poolside, driving down the freeway in a car, etc.  I’m sure you get the picture.

It seems that if we didn’t make such a big deal about being clothed all of the time, there would be no mystery that leads us into temptation so to speak.  So that relationships could focus on what is truly important.  The qualities that should be identified first in the relationship.  Nudity isn’t an indicator or morality good or bad.  Quite the opposite I believe.  Nothing to hide? What better way to show the world than without clothing......

Nonetheless, the world may not be ready now or anytime in the future for mass nudity in the populous.  However, it would be interesting to see the effects long term on a society.

The 21 Stages of the Narcissist and Empath Relationship

1. The narcissist attracts the empath. They begin a relationship. The empath’s love is deep and unconditional. The narcissist, on the other hand, has no intention of developing a stronger connection and getting close to the empath. The empath is happy and satisfied every time they are around the narcissist and they falsely think that their love is being reciprocated.

2. The empath starts to feel like they have finally met the love of their life. The narcissist asserts them by designing an illusion which leads the empath to think that they have a special bond that is impossible to break. At times, it may look like the narcissist wants the relationship as much as the empath, but this is not true. The narcissist only wants to be in control.

3. As the time passes, the narcissist will try to break the empath’s self-esteem by making them feel weak and unable to do even the simplest things. The narcissist will never openly attack the empath, but they will say something like, “I don’t mean to hurt you but…” and then mention some “shortcoming” of the empath. The whole control of the relationship will be in the hands of the narcissist as they will start making every decision. The empath will gradually start to believe that they are incapable of anything and that they are lucky to have the narcissist in their life.

4. The narcissist will become the sole center of the empath’s universe as they are the ones that are truly in love. They will always try to help, take care of, cheer up and soothe the narcissist. They will always be there for the narcissist whenever the narcissist needs them. The narcissist will try to present themselves as the victim thus manipulating the empath into giving them what they want since the empaths are natural givers. 

5. The empath’s intentions are pure. The empath has a good heart and they cannot understand the fact that the narcissist’s wounds are different from theirs, and so is the healing. The narcissist’s wounds cannot be healed with love, as the empath believes because the narcissist is a person who is immune to love.

6. The relationship starts to be all about the narcissist. Eventually, the empath will realize this, because as the time passes, they will start to feel afraid to state or fight for their desires and needs in the relationship. The empath will rather die than give someone a reason to dislike them, so they will still try to please the narcissist even though they are not happy in the relationship.

7. The more affection, devotion, effort, love, and care that the empath gives to the narcissist, the more in control the narcissist feels. And as long as the empath continues to put in the effort into the relationship, it is almost impossible for them to see a problem in the relationship. The problems arise when the empath finally ‘wakes up’ and reaches their breaking point.

8. The empath will eventually raise their voice because they can no longer stand the devaluing ways of the narcissist. The empath starts to feel devastated because their emotional needs are not being met. When the empath realizes that they have been living in a delusion all the time, they will start to speak up their truth. The narcissist is not happy with this new turn of events.

9. The narcissist is someone who needs constant attention. They feel satisfied when people obsess with them. However, they can never be happy no matter how much attention and praise they get from others. They always need more. And the empath often fails to understand this.

10. When the empath finally decides to honestly talk about their feelings with the narcissist, the narcissist is quick to call them “crazy”, “delusional”, or “over-dramatic.” They would dismiss any of the empath’s efforts to save the relationship and they will try to manipulate them again to regain the control.

11. For an empath, this behavior is impossible to understand. They would start blaming themselves for everything that is wrong in the relationship because the narcissist has them feeling like they are not good enough and they are not worthy of love.

12. The empath fails to understand that they are being manipulated once again. The narcissist has created a twisted way of reality in their minds. The empath is being gaslighted to a point where they cannot believe their own perception and sanity. They couldn’t see the truth that the narcissist is the one who is wrong and wicked, not they.

13. Every empath’s attempt to communicate honestly with the narcissist is pointless. The narcissist will always try to pass the blame to justify themselves.

14. The empath should know that it is completely okay and normal to feel confused, lost, defenseless, and deeply hurt. They need to do a lot of self-reflection and work on themselves to start feeling okay again.

15. Empaths are the healers of society. They have the inner strength that is necessary for them to overcome any challenge that comes their way. They can alleviate the other people’s pain as well as their own only if they are willing to do that.

16. The empath will eventually realize the bitter truth that the narcissist does not deserve their affection, love, and care. They must understand that not everyone who puts a sad face on is showing their true colors. There are many people out there who have vile motives and use many manipulative techniques to get what they want. The empath must face the brutal truth that not everyone who says ‘I love you’ really means it.

17. In the above situation, the empath needs to understand that they are the actual victim in the relationship – not the narcissist.

18. When the empath realizes that the narcissist will never change – this would be a painful revelation and awakening for them. However, this is essential for the empath to move forward and put an end to the toxic relationship with the narcissist.

19. The narcissist will go on with their life as if nothing has happened. They won’t even remember the enormous love and appreciation that the empath has given them.

20. The narcissist will move on and find a new victim.

21. The empath will become wiser, stronger, and more cautious of to whom they give their love, time, and affection.

-Author Unknown

Reality about coffee.......

You know back in the 90’s my then wife bought an espresso business.  It was a cute little 1963 Metro Van.  It had great charm and she would go from business to business in the mornings to sell various coffees drinks to the employees of the businesses.  Kind of a mobile Starbucks if you will, only better.  More like if you took Starbucks and merged them with Burger King.  A great coffee related product “only have it your way!”  While Starbucks had been around some 20 plus years at that point it really hadn’t made its way to every nook and cranny of America.  

Today we have a Starbucks on every street corner in metropolitan areas and at least one in each rural American city.  I like their products because it’s consistent, however it’s not really “my way”. The Mom and Pop coffee houses still make a great product and I can modify it to be what I really truly want.  What I don’t really understand, and maybe you all can help me, is the people that can’t live without “their Starbucks” everyday.  I mean I understand coffee addiction, but when you sit right down and look at the Starbucks product, it’s about 5+ dollars everyday.  In rough numbers, that’s about 150 bucks minimum per month.  Not to mention any food items you may pick up while you’re there.  Coffee made in a Keurig is about 30 cents a cup, add a few more cents for cream or hot milk and you’re still under a buck.  So the real saver in me thinks we should all just make coffee at home. If you’re not the saver like me, then make the coffee at home anyway and burn a 5 dollar bill..........the end result is the same with the exception of being in the Starbucks club like other sheep in society.   

Blaze Pizza Review

Well Blaze Pizza, has anyone ever been?  It’s pretty good.  The food is fast, tasty and affordable.  The 3 most important things to my appetite when eating out.  I went to lunch with a coworker one day.  I really wasn’t sure about going there becuzse it is in a shopping mall.....  Having been to lots of food courts in shopping malls before, I was a little cautious about quality, if you know what I mean.  However, the quality was good, the ordering was easy and staff helpful.  The food cooked fast and thoroughly.  Lunch price was around $12 and filling.  So color me satisfied!  Life is good!

Oops another trashy post.........

So I’m walking in from the beach to my house.  I have to walk in between a couple of other duplexes to get to mine.  I noticed candy wrappers and other trash along the sidewalk between the units.  Then I started looking around and it all made sense.  Most of the places in my little neighborhood are rental units.  Now these units are rented sometimes only for a few months at a time.  So there is a lot of turnover.  Usually, the tenants are here for the summer to be close to the beach and surf or what have you.  The property owners charge a premium for the rental property.  So ultimately, we have several people living in a small unit so they can afford the rent.  Which is the very scenario we have in the “ghetto” areas everywhere by the way.  So my theory is that people are paying a premium to rent not own, they are here temporarily so things like trash don’t matter, etc.  They don’t take pride in where they live, maybe thats a generational thing or maybe it’s the mindset of living somewhere you can’t afford and having to share with a lot of people.  I don’t know, I’m not a psychologist. Nonetheless I have to deal with it until I can find a neighborhood that is full of people that take pride in their living space.

Also, it’s not just the small trash, like the wrappers and the glitter all over, it’s the people that walk their dogs on the cobblestone drive way only to let them shit and pee on it and not clean that up either.  Thankfully there are only a few that do that.  It’s also the people that dump their old furniture at the end of the driveway which happens to be right next to my unit.  Which makes it difficult to get in and out of our driveway. Like the jackass that put their old couch out there last week that is still there making it difficult on us and the neighbor across from us.  The garbage men don’t take stuff like that.  So then someone else has to take care of it, which is bs.  I bet whoever gets to read this isn’t the problem because they won’t read this far.  So thank you for taking the time to read my rant, but you’re probably not the problem......have a good day😊

The Beach.....Update

This is a refreshing update as of 8/11/18.  I was enjoying the beach on Saturday.  As I watched the waves roll in at unusual heights due to tropical storm off of the coast of Baja, I noticed a woman walking down the beach, picking up trash.  Then about an hour later a group of approximately 6 adults, and 8 or 9 kids all came through my part of the beach.  Also, picking up trash and depositing it in the trash receptacles that I mentioned before.

I so enjoyed someone else besides myself picking up the trash that inconsiderate visitors to our beaches leave all of the time.  It helps put a band aid on the problem for sure.  While I am thankful for the extra efforts of a few, I still am infuriated with the many that create the original problem that others are left to fix.  Where does this entitlement come from?  Do we as a society think that the government, the local citizens should have to clean up after us?  It’s like everyone or mostly everyone thinks their mom is going around cleaning up after them.  Well, it’s not your childhood home, it is however my home.  The beach is a very inexpensive relaxation spot for everyone.  The least thing that visitors could do is keep it looking nice by picking up their trash and leaving it the way they found it. 

Yesterday, there was also a group of people enjoying the beach with their dogs.  They had 3 little chihuahuas.  They were cute and all.  Barking up a storm, which is fine.  However when one of the dogs pooped not far from where this group was hanging out, they owners weren’t going to pick up the shit, literally.  A gentleman, that witnessed the dog pooping, went over to the group and asked them to do the responsible thing and pick up the shit. 

So I guess it does take a village to raise people to the level of decency to at least pick up their shit instead leaving it strewn throughout.  It would be nice one day that people will take care of their own shit and not leave it for others to pick up or have to be reminded to pick up.  Do they live that way at home?  

Beach Parking Issues.....

So the other day, I believe it was a Monday, my beautiful significant other and I went to brunch. I call her that because she’s more than a girlfriend, but she doesn’t want to get married. Which puts me in a bad light with always having to answer that question.....”are you going to make a honest woman out of her?”. As usual that question comes with the disapproval tone. I always respond with “she’s pretty honest now, or I wouldn’t be with her”. I get a lot of “confused” looks. Nonetheless back to the story.

Then we each ride a motorcycle to the Newport Beach pier. That’s the parking location for one of my favorite places to eat. It’s a dive bar with that whole beach image and feel. The food is good and we usually get good service in the right section. I like it much more than my significant other, there’s that title again.....so it’s a real treat when she agrees to go with me

The thing about the parking at the pier is they have some silly restrictions. I suppose to maximize the

profits on the parking spaces. The parking lot has zones to park in, and all of the parking payments are linked to your license plate not the space your parking in, like a meter system. So if you leave early, then the balance of unused time is just an overpayment. Another restriction is that “Motorcycles park in designated areas only”. Which keeps us from sharing a space between four bikes and further profits the city on parking fees. Ok, I’ll give them that. So there are exactly, four spaces on each side of the parking lot that are “designated” motorcycle parking. For a total of eight parking spaces for presumably eight motorcycles.

You can imagine my surprise when I arrived only to find a car parked in the motorcycle parking spaces. I thought well it must just be someone that dropped something off really quick, like an Uber Eats driver? Luckily there were barely two spaces left so that we could park. We took quite a bit of time actually paying for our own parking. It took us about 20 minutes to just get the app to work right for paying on one bike. In that time, I believe Newport Beach parking control must have gotten

called. Because about 35 minutes later they showed up and ticketed this car. The driver either doesn’t read, doesn’t pay attention or doesn’t care. I have no idea how much these types of tickets are, but they probably aren’t enough to make the driver read, pay attention or even care. However, it is nice to see a response to the problem, no matter how slow it may be (almost an hour). The funny thing is there are lots of other places to park and go to the beach. Several of them are free street parking. Then again, the driver would have to read, pay attention and care....

The Beach........

So as many of you know I live in Newport Beach, what’s considered the lower rent district......  However it is still very nice and close proximity to one of the most beautiful beaches in California. The city and the residents take very good care of this sublime piece of coastal real estate.  They keep erosion to a very minimum, continually bring sand from different areas of the beach and place it where it needs to go.  All to make sure that the beach has a life for all to enjoy.  

There are several beach goers that enjoy this beach year round, including me.  Sunny or overcast the beach is always a place to be.  Unless, it’s really windy, then it may be a little too much sand in the face.  I guess it’s all relative. 

I see so many families, couples, individuals coming to the beach.  There are a lot of surfers that come for the day or maybe just a few hours to work on their mad skills of surfing.  There are the body boarders, which I’m trying to break into.  Poorly, I might add.  Then there is the golden brown sun worshipers, which I am part of for sure.  We all come and enjoy the sea air, the water, the sand, the activities and the people watching.  

It’s now the middle of our touristy summer on the beach and people are coming from everywhere.  I do enjoy the diversity of visitors to this amazing beach.  No matter how much diversity comes to the beach, they all seem to have this one trait that makes me wish they never came in the first place.  When I use to camp and hike in the National forests of very Northern California, I remember a sign at the trailheads.  It read “If you can pack it in full, you can pack it out empty”.  It stuck with me all these years and I still take my trash to the receptacle.  In the wilderness areas there are no receptacles either, so you’re packing that stuff to the trailhead.  At least at the beach  there are large trash cans like every 100’ or so.  They make it easy.

Each day I go to the beach, there is at least 5 pieces of trash that I pick up in close proximity to my one location. I take the time, pick it up, walk my happy ass to the receptacle and throw it in.  What is really infuriating is the glass broken or whole makes no difference.  The beach is a place where everyone is mostly barefoot.  So either bring cans, or plastic, pack it out empty.  Don’t be stupid and bring glass, it may be you that steps on it and cuts your foot or worse.  

So having said all of this, I welcome beach goers of all kinds, just don’t come if you can’t pick up after your self.  I guess you could bring your mom, so she could pick up after you.......  If I see you leave it, I’m going to help you not forget it.  So in closing, I’ll share this beach just fine with anyone.  Now share my love of keeping it clean and nice for everyone, including your next visit........

Be patient while I search for words......

 We have lost an “amazing” soul.  When I say “we”, I mean the world.  We lost a loving, caring woman way too young.  A woman that chose to dedicate her life to helping others with their own lives. Even while losing her battle to that awful disease she was helping others via phone with their life issues. She had this incredible gift to listen to issues until someone’s thought was finished, so that not only did they feel heard, they felt important.  

I came to know Laura through my wonderful girlfriend.  You see they were cousins.  Laura had been fighting ovarian cancer for some time before I was blessed with an introduction to her while she was traveling to Southern California with her parents Ruth and Ralph. Her parents are incredible individuals who spend most of their waking hours helping other people as well. So I guess it’s not a stretch to understand that Laura would not only do the same but excel at it!  I started this story right after Laura passed, I’m adding to it almost nine months later.  I’m still searching for the words to describe how incredible this woman still is to all that knew her for more than a minute.  

Even under the stress, mental and physical, of fighting this disease, she was still happy to her core.  Happy for everyone’s successes, everyone’s good fortune.  If those she knew were having challenges in their lives, she would listen, respond with something positive that probably was overlooked and just brighten that person’s life.  Gave them hope when it seemed they had lost it.  

Laura was a joy to be around.  It was always a treat for me to see her and spend time with her.  I haven’t always been comfortable talking to someone I knew that had a terminal illness, however Laura could always make me at ease no matter if we were talking about the weather, her illness or some insignificant issue I was having.  No matter what was going on for her she put others first and just enjoyed life.  

I miss her sometimes right up until I realize that she is always with everyone she touched.  She’s in our hearts and in our heads.  When I think of some of the talks we had, I can hear her voice. Since Laura’s passing, I have gotten to know her sister and her husband, Erica and Jason.  Both also very amazing people who I love dearly too.  It would be so hard not to love every member of this family.  All so dynamic and wonderful, yet unique individuals each. 

I’ll close for now, but I can’t promise this will be my last testimony of how Laura and her family and my girlfriends family, have touched my heart and my soul.  Thank you to all. I am so very blessed from my amazing girlfriend, Eileen, to her entire family, even the family I haven’t completely been able to get to know. 

The epitome of why women outlive men......

You know, I do my regular exercise walks down the streets of the coastal homes.  I usually do those walks at night although I chose one beautiful morning to get my walk in early.  As I'm walking down the street, I am met with people my age range also walking.  I see a woman that appears fit and moving at a good pace.  Not really giving things a second thought at this point I carry on with my walk.  A few blocks further I see another woman, same as before.  Then a few blocks further, I see a man and it all made sense then.  You see the man was not so fit, carrying in one had a cup of coffee and clutching with a death grip in his other hand the pink box of donuts.  Probably on his way to sit in front of the television for his Sunday sports!  And so the story goes the fairer of the sexes gets out and works to stay fit inside and out, while the men may do it for awhile they aren't usually consistent because "there will be time for that later.....". While yet some, after watching a day of sports feel like they did all "that", as they lived vicariously through the actions of million dollar athletes.  

Just a Monday at the beach!

So since I have most Mondays off from work, I like to come to the beach because it's so close to the house. I see all types out here including myself. Everybody's at peace, everybody's having fun, everybody's enjoying being themselves. Sure there's some that judge and some that just don't care, but by and large everybody has a great time. Some are playing volleyball on the beach some are actually good. Others are working on their tan or their shell collecting and then there's those guys that insist on surfing no matter what the conditions.

Flakes & Frogs, they come in all genders

Why is it that people, men and women, go to the trouble of setting up a dating profile, then spend hours reading profiles, emailing potential prospects for a date, then the hours chatting online or on the phòne to do one or more of the following:

1.  Show for just the free meal or drink 2,   Not show at all, even after confirming as close 15 minutes out from meeting time. 3.   Not look like their pictures  4.   Be someone totally different than any other interaction. 5.   And the list goes on.............

Some can actually show up, carry on with their mask then weeks later have it come off and be someone totally different.  So what's it all about?  Could it be a way to make themselves feel better about who they are?  You know like, "I'll show up and this guy or girl will want to spend time, money or both on me".  To somehow increase their own self worth.  I guess that's the thing that gets me the most.  So many individuals in society look to others to validate who they are.  So now we use dating sites to do it with that many more people.  My theory for the "no shows" is that they have created a dating profile of who they want to be, or sometimes who they really think they are.  Then when it gets right down to the brass tacks of it all, they are screaming "oh shit!, I have to show up and be that person for more than a 5 minute email". Yep, better bail!  Then there is the group that posts their age (or somewhere close) and pictures of when they were 20's or 30's. i just have one question-"WTF were you thinking?"  You either just wanted a pen pal or you're an idiot.  Dating site would indicate that at some point you will meet in person to go on, what's it called again?  Oh yes a DATE!  Then the ones that act different online or on the phone then they do in person.  I can give a little on this one for temporary, with people just being nervous and stuff......but when it goes on for a few weeks its all been a waste of time.  Speaks to people having a hard time being themselves with other people, especially someone that they want to have an intimate relationship with.  

Just one of my personal experiences:  I meet a woman on a dating site.  We emailed through the app a few times and it was interesting.  Then we met for breakfast one day and it was a good relaxing time.  I paid of course and we had some dates, and she would invite me to dinner at her house.  Now it all started kind of subtlely, she was doing some home improvements while we were seeing each other.  I was truly glad to help with the things that I had skills for and she wasn't shy about asking either.  If she was doing a task that I could have helped with but was necessarily my forte, then she really didn't seem to want me around.  If she needed a ride somewhere or wanted to go out though I was the guy she called....lol. I had moved some satellite cables for one of her projects.  Soon after, she said she couldn't see me anymore.  She accused me of lying to her about drinking and getting drunk when we weren't together.  Which i thought was absurd because I drink very little and not very often because of health issues.  Nonetheless we stopped seeing each other and I was completely okay with that since we had only seen each other part time for about 5 weeks and most of that was me working on her house for her or hauling her around town.  So fast forward a couple of months later........I was out of town visiting some friends and I get 2 missed calls from this gal, then a text message asking about the cables that I moved for her.  I gave her the information she asked for and figured that was the end of the conversation.  It went on though.  She asked "will I need special tools to move it again?"  I started laughing like you can't believe. You see after the accusations that she threw at me to not see me anymore, she needed my expertise again and was waiting for me to offer.  Instead I politely told her in another text message "Probably, be safe and take care". I never heard from her again.  If you listen to someone long enough they will tell you who they are.

I guess i will leave you with this final thought,  "Dating after 40 is like going to the dump and picking out the least broken piece of refuse"

Unreasonable People

I'm sure we have all had our times with unreasonable people.  I had an especially unreasonable customer the other day.  As most people know, I am a field technician for a large communications company.  Our procedure when we pick up a ticket is to call the customer and let them know we are on our way.  I did this and the customer did not answer the call. So I left a voicemail message for him and proceeded to the service address. Upon arrival I ran some preliminary tests and knocked on the door.  The door was answered by a young lady that introduced herself as the nanny.   She had no idea what the customer's issues were.  I told her, I saw some outside issues and would start there while she contacted the customer to find out more specifics.  After checking and correcting some items outside I returned to the door and knocked again.  The nanny told me that the customer wanted some new locations wired for new equipment.  I advised her that there would be a charge associated with services like that.  She said "Oh, I better let him know". I said is there anything not working?  She showed me to the master bedroom for a tv that appeared to have a stuck converter box.  I rebooted the converter box to resolve the issue.  Which it did, all serivices were back up and running successfully.   I then went in search of the nanny.  When I found the nanny, So she could show me to where the new locations for service needed to go, I was told that the customer said he would do the work and if there were any issues he would call me.  I said very well and left my phone number.  I also closed my ticket and left on to the next ticket. At the end of my day, the customer called me on my company phone, the phone number I had left with the nanny.  He proceeded to raise his voice and tell me I had fixed nothing.  As I tried to find out exactly what the issue was he continued in his raised voice and violent tone to tell me that I must not know what I'm doing  I assured him I had been doing this job for sometime and that the issue was, that the information I received about his problem was incomplete and very vague and I did the best I could with what I had to work with.  I offered to come back the next day and he agreed. The next morning I discussed with my supervisor.  She and I both agreed it would be best if I recused myself from this customer and just made a repair ticket for another technician to go back.  Which would make me take a hit on the metrics that the company measures us by.  Honestly, I was relieved.....lol  There is nothing worse than an insulting customer that not only created the issue with lack of communication but has no people skills to get done what they want.  So please remember, if you're not getting the service or goods that you think you should be getting, please exhaust all possibilities of patience and good communication before you just start getting insulting.  It won't get you what you want.  It will only get you the bare minimum.  Trust me, the service professionals that see a customer is frustrated with problems dealing with the service.  They just want to show up and be your hero, but when you insult them they lose all sense of caring about your problem.  Do you yell at the doctor on your first visit?  Probably not.  Even if your problem has been going on for some time, it's probably the first visit for your technician........ So be more reasonable until it becomes time to get credits on your bill.  

 

 

Obese, Average or Skinny? Part I

I'm actually just a little outraged lately about all the negative judgment flying around regarding body type. I spend a lot of my time people watching. Everywhere I go I notice people. Their body type, how they dress, who they're with, what they're doing, etc. I try not to judge them for their personal choices and mostly I find myself appreciating their choices and sometimes I have to understand that I may not understand the "why" of their choice but as long as it brings no harm to others I can, at the very least appreciate their individualism and courage to be just that, an individual expressing themselves. 

 

So what I would like to talk about is this overwhelming amount of people publicly attacking the group of what most would describe as the more "fit" of the population. Accusing them of setting unrealistic standards for today's youth. Creating eating disorders and so on. I don't agree with it. An eating disorder can work either way. There are so many factors that go into what we see in society as body type. Some are naturally thin or slight built while others are larger in frame and content with all types in between. It's all based on genetics, emotion, personal drive, knowledge just to name a few. 

 

When the "judgment mill" cranks up we have nothing productive to work with. We put each side on the defense and it makes for a lot of hard feelings and no where to go but down.  Like when someone does accuse a fit person of setting unrealistic standards. First of all they may not even have a choice. Genetics. Secondly, maybe they feel better at that weight and shape. For example most of my family is heavy with an apple body type. I don't fell good when I put on weight so I try to stay fit by being busy with my body not overeating etc. that works for me.  While yet others are fine being heavy and it works for them. So why should anyone judge anyone for it? 

 

The bottomline is if you are happy and comfortable where your body is at, no health problems to be concerned with, then rock on!  You don't owe anyone an explanation for how you look.  If you don't like it yourself then change it as much as you can.  There are lots of answers and help out there.  We will all be happier if we stick to judging ourselves, working on what we want to change about ourselves to increase our own happiness.  

 

So go take on the next day, make a conscious effort to look at the other side of endless possibilities for that person you're passing judgement on, deal?  Trust me, you'll be happier and so will they if you just accept them for who and how they are when you see them.

 

Judgment may very well make the world go round and round, but it doesn't give it any growth.  I don't know about each and everyone of you reading this, but for me, I want to grow more and more each day.  Growth has given me peace of mind.  Just knowing that we are all unique, "Just like everyone else". Lol

 

 

 

Las Vegas Bikefest 2016

For those of you that have never been, don't go. For those who have been and think its the "bomb", get a life. Having said all of that.....lol. I have heard for the last several years from friends and acquaintances that the Las Vegas Bikefest was a lot of serious fun.  It's usually the weekend after Street Vibrations Fall rally in Reno, Nevada. Each person Ive heard describe it, was usually telling me how "wild" it gets, how much there is to see.  This was always easy for me to believe because I try to take people at face value, somewhat trust their opinions and well, Vegas is known to take things from other places and make it bigger and flashier or is that fleshier....I get so confused sometimes.....lol. However, the Las Vegas Bikefest 2016 was kind of a bust.  It was a $15 per person admission.  Security had a problem with my wallet chain that is so short I can barely get money out of my wallet when I need to.  We then entered the "2" block event.  Only to find that about half of the vendors are food vendors. Then the other half of the vendors look like yard sale graduates looking for the swap meet.  Although there were about 5 truly professional vendors that were impressive with their wares.  For example, TES products has an awesome cover design for motorcycles, a very impressive product they have.  Check them out at www.tesproducts.com.  Of course, Mustang was there with their usual great selection of great seats, you can't go wrong with one of their seats.  Check them out at www.mustangseats.com There is one thing that we really enjoyed for the hour we were there was our visit to Hogs & Heifers Saloon.  The bar was a nice sized biker dive bar so to speak.  Every so often the bartenders get on the bar and dance a little river dance style dance.  During Bikefest they close off each end of the block and build a bar in the street for the ultimate street party. The people watching at this place is sublime!  Lots of material.  I was told that the vibe of the bar during the rest of the year was about the same as what we were witnessing too.  So if you're in town, check it out for sure! Aside from it being a nice boring freeway ride to get there, a bust for a rally, it was a nice bar stop on a long ride through Vegas baby!

My Friend Summer....

People come into our lives for a specific reason or reasons.  Some times it's years later before we realize the reason(s).  I also believe that animals come into our life for several reasons.  That is what this blog post is dedicated to, those animals that come into our lives.  More narrowly, dogs that come into our life, whether we are the pet owner, friend or just merely passing by for the moment.  

A dog is a little sneaky and maybe God planned it that way......  What I mean is who among us can resist a puppy, right?  They are so cute, cuddly and full of excitement that they just suck you in from the very beginning.  Then as they grow and mature they help us with all sorts of things, some of which we had no idea that they could actually help with.  Some things that are totally unforeseen events.  While others, we would have called you crazy, if you told us in advance "that your dog can help with that?"  It's true though, most every dog makes any situation better.  They are happy to see you, sniff you, go places with you at a moments notice.  They protect us, love us and even cherish the time they have to spend with us.. The joy and laughter produced by a dog just being there can't be imagined by anyone that has never experienced it.  

Today has been a rough day (March 5, 2016).  I lost a dear friend.  She was a beautiful yellow Labrador Retriever, named Summer.  Although, her name could have been "Shadow", lol.  

My girlfriend introduced me to Summer in July of 2015.  It was obvious right away that she was one of the sweetest dogs I had ever met.  She would come up, look at you right square in the eye and just adore her time with you.  As my relationship progressed with my girlfriend, so did my relationship with Summer.  After moving in with the both of them, I gladly took on and shared the responsibilities of feeding, loving on and walking her.  Some of my best times with Summer were on our walks together.  I always described her as the opposite of a "barn sour horse".  She was always excited to go on a walk, would even run down the street going out.  When the first sign of returning home would reveal itself, she would start pouting like the big dog she was!  Hanging her head low and walking noticably slower.....lol. Then we would have the one way conversation like a dad talking to his pouting child...you know like "Now you can't pout." "No one is going to want to take you on walks if you pout".  She was frustrating at times, like we all can be, but she was always a source of joy and happiness for all that knew her.  If I was kicking back watching tv she would always either come up and put her chin on my leg or especially if my legs were crossed, she would walk under my leg and lift it off of the other so that it would be resting on her when she laid down.  

Her excitement for the things she loved was obvious until the very end.  She loved people.  She wanted everyone to know that she loved them.  Even in her last hours, she had several around her loving her, but if you weren't there, she would come find you.  She would always do a quick little spin to the left just before you put her food down for her and just when she realized she was going for a W A L K.  Lol. She was a gamer though.  That dog was so smart and she would game with a person and they'd never know it.  My poor girlfriend would have to struggle to put her collar and leash on her for her walk.  I made it clear to this adorable four legged little girl right away that we weren't playing that game....lol. I would sit down, hold the collar all the way open with my hands and she would walk up and place her head through it.  We would go for our walk sometimes short and sometimes pretty long, it just depended on how she seemed to be doing on the walk(and the level of pouting, of course). 

Summer, you were an amazing lover, caretaker and friend.  I only knew you a short time, but you touched my heart so deeply!  I love you little girl, you'll always be in my heart and on my mind for all that you gave me!  I miss you already.  Have a wonderful time always, tell Kona I said hi, he was a great puppy too!

Easyrider Show - Long Beach CA 2016

Well this is the recap on the Easyrider show in Long Beach.  I took a vacation day to go to the show......paid my 20 dollars per person to go and what a disappointment!!!!  Never again.  A waste of time and money.  One vendor with apparel, one with gloves and yes the timeshare dude.....So I won't be returning to any of these Easyrider shows again.

Confidence vs Arrogance

So I am writing because I think there is a confusion about the meaning of these two words. 

The following courtesy of 

www.Merriam-Webster.com

Arrogance

 Simple Definition:

: an insulting way of thinking or behaving that comes from believing that you are better, smarter or more important than other people.

Confidence

Simple Definition:

:  the quality or state of being certain

Simply put I think that being confident is walking into a crowded room without feeling the need to compare yourself to anyone.  Just knowing yourself well enough to be yourself.  Society gets lost with the "keeping up with the Jones" mentality.  Which is all competition of material items.  Who cares?  If you have what is important to you and your family what more do you need?  So really, what we should all be doing is becoming more comfortable in our own skin.  Instead there is this overwhelming need to become more and more arrogant.  I guess its like the over abundance of the "Real Housewives" shows, reality tv and all the drama that comes with that.  It all started with Springer and everyone has followed in his footsteps.  There is always someone that wants to be famous that will do ridiculous stuff for minimum compensation. Just to say look at me, I'm better than you........

How much better would we all have it if we focused on our own confidence and and just stop competing for top "goofball"?  Doesn't it make sense to just like where we each are individually?  If we don't like it then we are the "only" ones that can change it, right?  So get on with it if that is the case.  Sometimes it's not easy, but it is soooo worth it!

Top That!

What could possibly top a day of riding to Oceanside in gale force winds?  Well let me tell you....taking a nice hot shower to warm up after fixing the shower one more time.  Then having the power go out.  That would have been the best as a kid!  You know "Sorry Mom, but I can't see".  So now that the power has been out for 2 hours and all the batteries in the electronic devices are dying.....

Now my amazing girl gets home and we light some more candles, as she jumps in the shower the lights come back on!!  Yeah!  So I'm sticking with the story that Southern California Edison has gender preferencing.....lol. Then of course I was tasked with blowing out all of the candles just in time to get my girl a towel and help dry off her beautiful body. Once again, proof that there is a God!  Just thought I would share.....

Merry Christmas 2015 recap.......

Let me just say WOW!  As most of you know I am an only child which makes for an interesting birth order....  So when my wonderfully amazing girlfriend tells me that she is 1 of 7, I try to understand that dynamic....I did watch a little of that with my own three children, so I wasn't completely oblivious.  My first introduction to the family was not really overwhelming but quite complex I'd say.  You see the oldest of the 7 children hosted a Thanksgiving Day dinner.  The oldest is married to a very nice man that is 1 of 5 children in his family.  Now you have to understand that they all have known each other for years and brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, cousins have all grown up together.  It's like all of the households from the original 12 children of 2 families, come together under one roof for a holiday, just like they were all raised in just one house.  It's like any "family" get together is like the party of the decade!  Most only children would be overwhelmed I think.  As for me though, I always wanted a big family because from the outside in, it looked fun.  Maybe it was that grass is greener thing......  Turns out though, other than me still learning names a month later, it was fantastic!  This family is just as I imagined a big family would always be.  Grandma and Grandpa, enjoying their adult children, grandchildren and all of the laughter and joy of the stories of events that everyone remembers.  The "open arms" hospitality that can only come from a family that loves each and every member and extended member.  

Christmas was just as wonderful to experience.  My name to faces ratio was a little better at this event.  Lol. We did the Christmas Eve event at the same sister's house as Thanksgiving, I was happy to see one of my girl's Aunt and Uncle and Cousin.  They are amazing people that I just love how they are.  I'm really looking to have more one on one time with them tomorrow when the come for a more intimate visit with us and the beach.  So after our evening of family and food, lots and lots of food, we went home and got all rested for our own Christmas morning. 

We awoke around 8am, I wanted to get an early start in the kitchen so I got up right away.  The plan was to cook breakfast for the girls that were coming at 10am to open presents.  We had a strict timeline to keep on Christmas Day.  A timeline that I agreed to keep with the family the night before...Uh oh.  So around 8:30, we get a call from one of the girls in a panic that says she is running late and not going to make it by 10am.  We said no problem, we still had one girl MIA.  So I started cooking with an expected eat time of 10:30ish. Mistake!  10:30 ish actually turned out to be 12:00pm ish.  It was all good though, at times a bit stressful and others just laughing  and enjoying it all.  Everyone showed up and we had a great time, good food and wonderful company!  We finished eating about 6min, before we were suppose to leave for Grandma and Grandpa's house....that's the "uh oh" part.  You see, we still had to open all of those presents.....so it was Christmas and that's one of the joys of the day.  Seeing the ones you love open the gifts that you acquired for them because you know they would love them.  The 7 hours of wrapping that my girl did, got destroyed in a matter of 1 hour.  The couch was full of 4 people, their gifts and a sea of torn paper and ribbon on the floor.  With absolutely no time to clean anything we all grabbed what we needed for our next stop and hit the road to Grandma's House!

Surprisingly, no one said a word when we arrived 1 hour late.  Again we had a house full of people but several from the night before didn't make this visit.  So my name to faces ratio got even better!  It was a wonderful time, we did the presents thing again and had some food.  It was nice to see the "kids", all adult kids, hanging together and having their time just like they had never grown up.  The laughter, love and happiness that can be seen in a family of this size is wonderful. Thank you to Grandma and Grandpa for all of these people that I was able to enjoy for my holiday!  The missed timelines and pitfalls are just part of the joy in a family this size and enjoyed just the same as everything else!  In fact when someone that has struggled to get there finally arrives it seems as though you actually enjoy seeing them all the more!