Nudity?

Why is nudity so overrated? Ideas? What I mean is, some people like being nude.  Not exhibitionists just people that like to have the freedom to move about sans clothing. Let's face it, we only started wearing clothing as a means to protect ourselves from the elements. Our bodies regulate their temperature much better when nude. Less health issues on the skin from letting things air out so to speak. There are lots of benefits of a nude or mostly nude lifestyle.

As a society in America, we seem to be freaked out by nudity or even scantily clad individuals. Why I ask. Each one of us is either a male or a female at birth. So we are completely aware of what we look like. Once we have seen just one of the opposite sex, we've seen everything that "we" are naturally or can be augmented into. So what's the big deal?

I have personally been a member of a clothing optional resort. It was a wonderful experience. If I still lived in that locale I would still be a member. The resort had lots of activities, restaurant, night club, lagoon, pools and jacuzzis. As well as several holiday and weekend events throughout the year. It exists just like any other community only without issues of nudity.

Social life at the resort was quite enjoyable. No not like that, conversations were very real and enjoyable with all visitors and residents. I always attributed the great conversations to the fact that these are all people that are comfortable in their own skin. No clothing to impress others, generally no makeup either, just "skin wins" mentality. Not here to be seen, but “don't care if I am” makes for a very relaxed atmosphere.

So what is it that drives our society to hide their skin. It started as protection from the elements, however there are several times and places where the environment is temperate.
People should be allowed to free their skin.  I'm not talking about at school, church, or any place that would shove nudity in the faces of those that will be truly offended.  Places like home yard, at the beach or poolside, driving down the freeway in a car, etc.  I’m sure you get the picture.

It seems that if we didn’t make such a big deal about being clothed all of the time, there would be no mystery that leads us into temptation so to speak.  So that relationships could focus on what is truly important.  The qualities that should be identified first in the relationship.  Nudity isn’t an indicator or morality good or bad.  Quite the opposite I believe.  Nothing to hide? What better way to show the world than without clothing......

Nonetheless, the world may not be ready now or anytime in the future for mass nudity in the populous.  However, it would be interesting to see the effects long term on a society.

The 21 Stages of the Narcissist and Empath Relationship

1. The narcissist attracts the empath. They begin a relationship. The empath’s love is deep and unconditional. The narcissist, on the other hand, has no intention of developing a stronger connection and getting close to the empath. The empath is happy and satisfied every time they are around the narcissist and they falsely think that their love is being reciprocated.

2. The empath starts to feel like they have finally met the love of their life. The narcissist asserts them by designing an illusion which leads the empath to think that they have a special bond that is impossible to break. At times, it may look like the narcissist wants the relationship as much as the empath, but this is not true. The narcissist only wants to be in control.

3. As the time passes, the narcissist will try to break the empath’s self-esteem by making them feel weak and unable to do even the simplest things. The narcissist will never openly attack the empath, but they will say something like, “I don’t mean to hurt you but…” and then mention some “shortcoming” of the empath. The whole control of the relationship will be in the hands of the narcissist as they will start making every decision. The empath will gradually start to believe that they are incapable of anything and that they are lucky to have the narcissist in their life.

4. The narcissist will become the sole center of the empath’s universe as they are the ones that are truly in love. They will always try to help, take care of, cheer up and soothe the narcissist. They will always be there for the narcissist whenever the narcissist needs them. The narcissist will try to present themselves as the victim thus manipulating the empath into giving them what they want since the empaths are natural givers. 

5. The empath’s intentions are pure. The empath has a good heart and they cannot understand the fact that the narcissist’s wounds are different from theirs, and so is the healing. The narcissist’s wounds cannot be healed with love, as the empath believes because the narcissist is a person who is immune to love.

6. The relationship starts to be all about the narcissist. Eventually, the empath will realize this, because as the time passes, they will start to feel afraid to state or fight for their desires and needs in the relationship. The empath will rather die than give someone a reason to dislike them, so they will still try to please the narcissist even though they are not happy in the relationship.

7. The more affection, devotion, effort, love, and care that the empath gives to the narcissist, the more in control the narcissist feels. And as long as the empath continues to put in the effort into the relationship, it is almost impossible for them to see a problem in the relationship. The problems arise when the empath finally ‘wakes up’ and reaches their breaking point.

8. The empath will eventually raise their voice because they can no longer stand the devaluing ways of the narcissist. The empath starts to feel devastated because their emotional needs are not being met. When the empath realizes that they have been living in a delusion all the time, they will start to speak up their truth. The narcissist is not happy with this new turn of events.

9. The narcissist is someone who needs constant attention. They feel satisfied when people obsess with them. However, they can never be happy no matter how much attention and praise they get from others. They always need more. And the empath often fails to understand this.

10. When the empath finally decides to honestly talk about their feelings with the narcissist, the narcissist is quick to call them “crazy”, “delusional”, or “over-dramatic.” They would dismiss any of the empath’s efforts to save the relationship and they will try to manipulate them again to regain the control.

11. For an empath, this behavior is impossible to understand. They would start blaming themselves for everything that is wrong in the relationship because the narcissist has them feeling like they are not good enough and they are not worthy of love.

12. The empath fails to understand that they are being manipulated once again. The narcissist has created a twisted way of reality in their minds. The empath is being gaslighted to a point where they cannot believe their own perception and sanity. They couldn’t see the truth that the narcissist is the one who is wrong and wicked, not they.

13. Every empath’s attempt to communicate honestly with the narcissist is pointless. The narcissist will always try to pass the blame to justify themselves.

14. The empath should know that it is completely okay and normal to feel confused, lost, defenseless, and deeply hurt. They need to do a lot of self-reflection and work on themselves to start feeling okay again.

15. Empaths are the healers of society. They have the inner strength that is necessary for them to overcome any challenge that comes their way. They can alleviate the other people’s pain as well as their own only if they are willing to do that.

16. The empath will eventually realize the bitter truth that the narcissist does not deserve their affection, love, and care. They must understand that not everyone who puts a sad face on is showing their true colors. There are many people out there who have vile motives and use many manipulative techniques to get what they want. The empath must face the brutal truth that not everyone who says ‘I love you’ really means it.

17. In the above situation, the empath needs to understand that they are the actual victim in the relationship – not the narcissist.

18. When the empath realizes that the narcissist will never change – this would be a painful revelation and awakening for them. However, this is essential for the empath to move forward and put an end to the toxic relationship with the narcissist.

19. The narcissist will go on with their life as if nothing has happened. They won’t even remember the enormous love and appreciation that the empath has given them.

20. The narcissist will move on and find a new victim.

21. The empath will become wiser, stronger, and more cautious of to whom they give their love, time, and affection.

-Author Unknown

Reality about coffee.......

You know back in the 90’s my then wife bought an espresso business.  It was a cute little 1963 Metro Van.  It had great charm and she would go from business to business in the mornings to sell various coffees drinks to the employees of the businesses.  Kind of a mobile Starbucks if you will, only better.  More like if you took Starbucks and merged them with Burger King.  A great coffee related product “only have it your way!”  While Starbucks had been around some 20 plus years at that point it really hadn’t made its way to every nook and cranny of America.  

Today we have a Starbucks on every street corner in metropolitan areas and at least one in each rural American city.  I like their products because it’s consistent, however it’s not really “my way”. The Mom and Pop coffee houses still make a great product and I can modify it to be what I really truly want.  What I don’t really understand, and maybe you all can help me, is the people that can’t live without “their Starbucks” everyday.  I mean I understand coffee addiction, but when you sit right down and look at the Starbucks product, it’s about 5+ dollars everyday.  In rough numbers, that’s about 150 bucks minimum per month.  Not to mention any food items you may pick up while you’re there.  Coffee made in a Keurig is about 30 cents a cup, add a few more cents for cream or hot milk and you’re still under a buck.  So the real saver in me thinks we should all just make coffee at home. If you’re not the saver like me, then make the coffee at home anyway and burn a 5 dollar bill..........the end result is the same with the exception of being in the Starbucks club like other sheep in society.   

Blaze Pizza Review

Well Blaze Pizza, has anyone ever been?  It’s pretty good.  The food is fast, tasty and affordable.  The 3 most important things to my appetite when eating out.  I went to lunch with a coworker one day.  I really wasn’t sure about going there becuzse it is in a shopping mall.....  Having been to lots of food courts in shopping malls before, I was a little cautious about quality, if you know what I mean.  However, the quality was good, the ordering was easy and staff helpful.  The food cooked fast and thoroughly.  Lunch price was around $12 and filling.  So color me satisfied!  Life is good!

Oops another trashy post.........

So I’m walking in from the beach to my house.  I have to walk in between a couple of other duplexes to get to mine.  I noticed candy wrappers and other trash along the sidewalk between the units.  Then I started looking around and it all made sense.  Most of the places in my little neighborhood are rental units.  Now these units are rented sometimes only for a few months at a time.  So there is a lot of turnover.  Usually, the tenants are here for the summer to be close to the beach and surf or what have you.  The property owners charge a premium for the rental property.  So ultimately, we have several people living in a small unit so they can afford the rent.  Which is the very scenario we have in the “ghetto” areas everywhere by the way.  So my theory is that people are paying a premium to rent not own, they are here temporarily so things like trash don’t matter, etc.  They don’t take pride in where they live, maybe thats a generational thing or maybe it’s the mindset of living somewhere you can’t afford and having to share with a lot of people.  I don’t know, I’m not a psychologist. Nonetheless I have to deal with it until I can find a neighborhood that is full of people that take pride in their living space.

Also, it’s not just the small trash, like the wrappers and the glitter all over, it’s the people that walk their dogs on the cobblestone drive way only to let them shit and pee on it and not clean that up either.  Thankfully there are only a few that do that.  It’s also the people that dump their old furniture at the end of the driveway which happens to be right next to my unit.  Which makes it difficult to get in and out of our driveway. Like the jackass that put their old couch out there last week that is still there making it difficult on us and the neighbor across from us.  The garbage men don’t take stuff like that.  So then someone else has to take care of it, which is bs.  I bet whoever gets to read this isn’t the problem because they won’t read this far.  So thank you for taking the time to read my rant, but you’re probably not the problem......have a good day😊

The Beach.....Update

This is a refreshing update as of 8/11/18.  I was enjoying the beach on Saturday.  As I watched the waves roll in at unusual heights due to tropical storm off of the coast of Baja, I noticed a woman walking down the beach, picking up trash.  Then about an hour later a group of approximately 6 adults, and 8 or 9 kids all came through my part of the beach.  Also, picking up trash and depositing it in the trash receptacles that I mentioned before.

I so enjoyed someone else besides myself picking up the trash that inconsiderate visitors to our beaches leave all of the time.  It helps put a band aid on the problem for sure.  While I am thankful for the extra efforts of a few, I still am infuriated with the many that create the original problem that others are left to fix.  Where does this entitlement come from?  Do we as a society think that the government, the local citizens should have to clean up after us?  It’s like everyone or mostly everyone thinks their mom is going around cleaning up after them.  Well, it’s not your childhood home, it is however my home.  The beach is a very inexpensive relaxation spot for everyone.  The least thing that visitors could do is keep it looking nice by picking up their trash and leaving it the way they found it. 

Yesterday, there was also a group of people enjoying the beach with their dogs.  They had 3 little chihuahuas.  They were cute and all.  Barking up a storm, which is fine.  However when one of the dogs pooped not far from where this group was hanging out, they owners weren’t going to pick up the shit, literally.  A gentleman, that witnessed the dog pooping, went over to the group and asked them to do the responsible thing and pick up the shit. 

So I guess it does take a village to raise people to the level of decency to at least pick up their shit instead leaving it strewn throughout.  It would be nice one day that people will take care of their own shit and not leave it for others to pick up or have to be reminded to pick up.  Do they live that way at home?  

Beach Parking Issues.....

So the other day, I believe it was a Monday, my beautiful significant other and I went to brunch. I call her that because she’s more than a girlfriend, but she doesn’t want to get married. Which puts me in a bad light with always having to answer that question.....”are you going to make a honest woman out of her?”. As usual that question comes with the disapproval tone. I always respond with “she’s pretty honest now, or I wouldn’t be with her”. I get a lot of “confused” looks. Nonetheless back to the story.

Then we each ride a motorcycle to the Newport Beach pier. That’s the parking location for one of my favorite places to eat. It’s a dive bar with that whole beach image and feel. The food is good and we usually get good service in the right section. I like it much more than my significant other, there’s that title again.....so it’s a real treat when she agrees to go with me

The thing about the parking at the pier is they have some silly restrictions. I suppose to maximize the

profits on the parking spaces. The parking lot has zones to park in, and all of the parking payments are linked to your license plate not the space your parking in, like a meter system. So if you leave early, then the balance of unused time is just an overpayment. Another restriction is that “Motorcycles park in designated areas only”. Which keeps us from sharing a space between four bikes and further profits the city on parking fees. Ok, I’ll give them that. So there are exactly, four spaces on each side of the parking lot that are “designated” motorcycle parking. For a total of eight parking spaces for presumably eight motorcycles.

You can imagine my surprise when I arrived only to find a car parked in the motorcycle parking spaces. I thought well it must just be someone that dropped something off really quick, like an Uber Eats driver? Luckily there were barely two spaces left so that we could park. We took quite a bit of time actually paying for our own parking. It took us about 20 minutes to just get the app to work right for paying on one bike. In that time, I believe Newport Beach parking control must have gotten

called. Because about 35 minutes later they showed up and ticketed this car. The driver either doesn’t read, doesn’t pay attention or doesn’t care. I have no idea how much these types of tickets are, but they probably aren’t enough to make the driver read, pay attention or even care. However, it is nice to see a response to the problem, no matter how slow it may be (almost an hour). The funny thing is there are lots of other places to park and go to the beach. Several of them are free street parking. Then again, the driver would have to read, pay attention and care....

The Beach........

So as many of you know I live in Newport Beach, what’s considered the lower rent district......  However it is still very nice and close proximity to one of the most beautiful beaches in California. The city and the residents take very good care of this sublime piece of coastal real estate.  They keep erosion to a very minimum, continually bring sand from different areas of the beach and place it where it needs to go.  All to make sure that the beach has a life for all to enjoy.  

There are several beach goers that enjoy this beach year round, including me.  Sunny or overcast the beach is always a place to be.  Unless, it’s really windy, then it may be a little too much sand in the face.  I guess it’s all relative. 

I see so many families, couples, individuals coming to the beach.  There are a lot of surfers that come for the day or maybe just a few hours to work on their mad skills of surfing.  There are the body boarders, which I’m trying to break into.  Poorly, I might add.  Then there is the golden brown sun worshipers, which I am part of for sure.  We all come and enjoy the sea air, the water, the sand, the activities and the people watching.  

It’s now the middle of our touristy summer on the beach and people are coming from everywhere.  I do enjoy the diversity of visitors to this amazing beach.  No matter how much diversity comes to the beach, they all seem to have this one trait that makes me wish they never came in the first place.  When I use to camp and hike in the National forests of very Northern California, I remember a sign at the trailheads.  It read “If you can pack it in full, you can pack it out empty”.  It stuck with me all these years and I still take my trash to the receptacle.  In the wilderness areas there are no receptacles either, so you’re packing that stuff to the trailhead.  At least at the beach  there are large trash cans like every 100’ or so.  They make it easy.

Each day I go to the beach, there is at least 5 pieces of trash that I pick up in close proximity to my one location. I take the time, pick it up, walk my happy ass to the receptacle and throw it in.  What is really infuriating is the glass broken or whole makes no difference.  The beach is a place where everyone is mostly barefoot.  So either bring cans, or plastic, pack it out empty.  Don’t be stupid and bring glass, it may be you that steps on it and cuts your foot or worse.  

So having said all of this, I welcome beach goers of all kinds, just don’t come if you can’t pick up after your self.  I guess you could bring your mom, so she could pick up after you.......  If I see you leave it, I’m going to help you not forget it.  So in closing, I’ll share this beach just fine with anyone.  Now share my love of keeping it clean and nice for everyone, including your next visit........

Be patient while I search for words......

 We have lost an “amazing” soul.  When I say “we”, I mean the world.  We lost a loving, caring woman way too young.  A woman that chose to dedicate her life to helping others with their own lives. Even while losing her battle to that awful disease she was helping others via phone with their life issues. She had this incredible gift to listen to issues until someone’s thought was finished, so that not only did they feel heard, they felt important.  

I came to know Laura through my wonderful girlfriend.  You see they were cousins.  Laura had been fighting ovarian cancer for some time before I was blessed with an introduction to her while she was traveling to Southern California with her parents Ruth and Ralph. Her parents are incredible individuals who spend most of their waking hours helping other people as well. So I guess it’s not a stretch to understand that Laura would not only do the same but excel at it!  I started this story right after Laura passed, I’m adding to it almost nine months later.  I’m still searching for the words to describe how incredible this woman still is to all that knew her for more than a minute.  

Even under the stress, mental and physical, of fighting this disease, she was still happy to her core.  Happy for everyone’s successes, everyone’s good fortune.  If those she knew were having challenges in their lives, she would listen, respond with something positive that probably was overlooked and just brighten that person’s life.  Gave them hope when it seemed they had lost it.  

Laura was a joy to be around.  It was always a treat for me to see her and spend time with her.  I haven’t always been comfortable talking to someone I knew that had a terminal illness, however Laura could always make me at ease no matter if we were talking about the weather, her illness or some insignificant issue I was having.  No matter what was going on for her she put others first and just enjoyed life.  

I miss her sometimes right up until I realize that she is always with everyone she touched.  She’s in our hearts and in our heads.  When I think of some of the talks we had, I can hear her voice. Since Laura’s passing, I have gotten to know her sister and her husband, Erica and Jason.  Both also very amazing people who I love dearly too.  It would be so hard not to love every member of this family.  All so dynamic and wonderful, yet unique individuals each. 

I’ll close for now, but I can’t promise this will be my last testimony of how Laura and her family and my girlfriends family, have touched my heart and my soul.  Thank you to all. I am so very blessed from my amazing girlfriend, Eileen, to her entire family, even the family I haven’t completely been able to get to know.